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Vignettes of Penn State Part I

I couldn't figure out a larger frame for these stories, so we are going to make them into a collection. There may be some things I forget, so bear with me. I'm still trying to recover.

On the Necessity of Shirts:
I will try not be too specific in order to protect the guilty. We stayed at a chapter of my fraternity at Penn State. It was started up there in 2001 and is now starting to become cemented on campus. Well, on that Friday night we got into State College around midnight with 30 rack purchased in Ohio. We were obviously too sober for the scene when we arrived. The level of inebriation was completely appropriate for the occasion, except for one gentleman.

This gentleman was one of the original founder of the chapter. He had to be at 25, but likely older. Tim, our mutual friend Nate and I were talking with a few of the brothers in the kitchen when this gentleman walked up the stairs from the basement we could immediately tell it was going to get interesting. He was wearing jeans and boxers and that was it. We all know the term OMG Shirtless, this was the opposite, so LOL Shirtless or maybe OMFG Shirtless. When both nipples and navel point to the ground, you should wear a shirt.

He seemed completely confused as to why Michigan fans would be in State College. He seemed fairly confused about everything else. After babbling on about getting special forces troops to kick our (meaning Michigan I believe) Marines' asses, he set out trying to explain the new shirt sweeping Penn State this year. The conversation went something like this:
  • Drunkard: On the front it says "Make Michigan our Bichigan."
  • Tim: uh... OK.
  • Drunkard: Bichigan. You know, like bitch again.
  • Paul: yes... bitch. OK.
  • Drunkard: Bichigan. Do you get it? Like bitch again... get it?
  • All Three of Us in Unison: Yes! We went to Michigan. We get it
  • Drunkard turns around and walks away
He would later find his shirt and disappear into the night. I assume he made it to wherever he was heading. This was clearly not his first rodeo.

On the Dichotomy of Fans:
Before the game, we were walking around State College and campus decked out in our Michigan gear. We were going to see our friend play Penn State's club tennis team, so we were walking down Curtin street by the Creamery (I think). As we were approaching the street, a car slowed down and the passenger leaned out the window and yelled "FUCK MICHIGAN! FUCK YOU GUYS." A middle aged woman walking toward us turned around looking horrified and said "I can't believe people would say things like that." She did not acknowledge our existence.

We were walking down Beaver St. (I think) and on either side of there are tall apartment buildings with balconies. We saw a group of kids on an 8th floor balcony having a good amount of fun. Tim and I have been to State College before and are a little wary drunk Penn State students. Well, they started yelling at us when we crossed the street, and by the time we got near to the balcony on of the kids up there poured some vodka. This surprised me. I could understand throwing empty cans or something, but wasting perfectly bad alcohol on us? That's just lame.

We were walking around trying to find a bar to watch the game. We went into the Saloon, and once we got inside of a bar, the fans were all friendly and good sports. One woman gave us a drink recommendation (a Bong Water Monkey Boy FWIW); I talked with another fan about how Rodriguez will work out in the long run (more logically than some conversations I've had with Michigan fans). Sure we were ribbed and there were some friendly barbs thrown, but it was in the spirit of college football.

I don't mind people making fun of Michigan or me by proxy. That's what makes college football great. Be creative and not threatening. Everyone is there to enjoy two programs going up against each other and two fan bases coming together. Have fun and enjoy it.

Photo: On Penn State Signs
The text of the sign:
ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION

Used for improved livestock breeding. Was made feasible for dairy cattle by the work of Prof. John Almquist, who, beginning in 1944 in the Borland Lab, perfected the use of antibiotics to preserve semen and developed commercial methods of using it. His internationally acclaimed research increased food production and breeding efficiency worldwide.

That's all I have for right now. One or more parts will be coming throughout the week.

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“Vignettes of Penn State Part I”

  1. Blogger Greg Says:

    I visited Penn State and Ohio State two years ago when we were ranked #2 in the country by the end. After visiting both towns with big stakes, I can say, without any hesitation, that Penn State fans were worse than Ohio State fans. My friend got hit in the head with a hamburger (which was kind of funny, but that's assault, brother...), my party was confronted physically on THREE separate occasions (with zero provocation), and numerous beer cans and bottles were tossed at us as we tried to explore the famous Penn State tailgating atmosphere. Aside from the glorious win and going through 3 Penn State Qb's, we came away with a bad taste in our mouth for sure.

  2. Anonymous Anonymous Says:

    I was thinking about going down to C-Bus for the game this year... but beer cans to the head does not sound like fun. I have never been to either place on game day...

  3. Anonymous Anonymous Says:

    I've attended the last two games at PSU and can honestly say that the fans there are complete a**holes. I learned I'm a faggot, Ann Arbor is a whore and that they are Penn State. The attitude of their fans screams inferiority complex.