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Penn State Fans Have Legal Priorities

There are some unwritten rules at various Big Ten schools:
  • Never paying for beer at a party at Michigan
  • Police will always overreact after the Spartan basketball team loses
  • Saturday from 10am - 6pm is prime study time for Northwestern students
  • Ohio State students must find a virgin to sacrifice each year to Tressel's altar to get to the National Championship game every year.
  • Penn State fans have awesome tailgates...
Or so I thought, but that last bullet point is not technically correct. I am planning to make the trip to Happy Valley to see yet another Michigan streak get broken and decided to check out the details for the Alumni Association tailgate. I saw this quote and was amazed:
Food service at the Penn State Tailgate: Due to local and state laws in State College, Pennsylvania, we are required to offer food and alcoholic beverages as part of a package. Therefore, at the Penn State Tailgate we are offering one, all-inclusive menu which includes a full buffet and beverage .
While I'm sure there's a rational explanation involving state liquor control laws, I prefer to think the law states something to the effect of: Thou Shalt Not Have a Lame Tailgate. It seems just as likely.

If you have never seen the transformation, you have missed a college football related wonder of the world. All around Beaver Stadium are fields for various (agricultural?) purposes. It's very open country on that side of campus. On Friday the RVs start rumbling in, and on Saturday there are so many RVs it looks like a nice Ohio suburb. If anyone in State College would mind taking before and after picture, I would really appreciate it.

Can you tell I don't want to think about the actual game on Saturday?

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“Penn State Fans Have Legal Priorities”

  1. Anonymous Anonymous Says:

    As a Northwestern alum/fan, I really wish I could dispute your list.

    Sadly, I can't.

  2. Anonymous santoro Says:

    We gun get raped :(

    Hooray Beer!

  3. Anonymous Anonymous Says:

    Have no fear... There will be plenty of beer for all you Michigan fans when you come to Happy Valley this weekend. The Yuengling will flow fine and free for all you Blue & Yellow wearing folks.

    Just please... please... PLEASE!!! let us have this one.