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Varsity Blue

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There is an ad in the Michigan Daily today...

I guess it's like an editorial, but it looks like an ad. Its text is as follows:

"Student Section 101

TIP: With 110,000 fans and 20,000 rowdy students, third down should be an impossible situation for opposing offenses in the Big House. Here's how to make that happen:

1 Enjoy the time-honored Michigan tradition of jingling your keys on third down.

2 Scream at the top of your lungs, and watch the visitor's offense struggle to get in sync."

I'll take this on a point-by-point basis.

  • I'd hardly call even a majority of the students in the 20,000-strong student section "rowdy," much less paint everyone with that broad brush. You're more likely to get funny stares if you act rowdy than have other people join in.
  • Third down should be tough for opposing offenses in the Big House. This brilliant plan by the Daily is not the way to make that happen.
  • I'm adamantly opposed to the "key play" "tradition." What does it do to intimidate opposing offenses? Nothing, you say? Well, I wholeheartedly agree. It's not like they fear that we are going to lock and/or unlock something during the course of a play.
  • If they insist on promoting this inane "key play" crap, the Daily should at least get their priorities in order. Advocate the screaming as first priority (and second, and third), rather than acting like jingling your keys (dear freshmen, it is hilarious to wiggle your keycard, I promise).
  • If we're trying to make noise, why not also advocate other means, such as stomping on the bleachers, or doing something that actually, you know, makes noise?
End the key play idiocy, and you will be one step closer to making Michigan an intimidating place to play.

“There is an ad in the Michigan Daily today...”